Iraqi captives (looters) stripped and forced to simulate sex acts by British soldiers? Our boys? Our brave boys? I don't believe it! They're brave boys! They're British! British boys are brave! British boys have character. British boys have respect for people who are not like themselves. British boys are not racist, cruel, homophobic, cowardly. They don't offend people for a laugh. They're gentle and decent. They see the irony in 'Little Britain'. They're on the side of the underdog, the poor, the oppressed, the minority.

Oh, and by the way...

I'm a lady!