Pooh poohing New Labour's so called 'sly anti-semitism', engineered by those crazy guys who brought us the sidesplittingly hilarious FCUK campaign, (ugly tory mugs Howard and Letwin as a pair of pigs just insults pigs and Howard hypnotising us with a fob watch is Howard hypnotising us with a fob watch, not Fagin gloating over his spoils), I get to thinking about my dad's real anti-semitism. Yes, my sideburned 70's trade unionist firebrand dad often said 'Hitler was right about the Jews'.

In 1950, he had apparently cried when Al Jolson died. As he became more of a loony lefty between his teens and his 40's, how the fuck did he move from idolising a Jew to saying they all should be exterminated? (Unless of course he always thought Jolson was really African American).

In the week in which Bono sings an enormously emotional song to his dead father in front of a young pop audience who couldn't give a shit, I decide to call up the ghost of my old man and ask him a few questions on which he had an answer for when he was alive.

1. Religion?

Religion is just brainwashing.

Ok.

2. The Royal Family?

Parasites. Should be shot. The lot of them.

Ok, parasites. Maybe not shot, though. Just stripped of all their wealth and
made to work in call centres.

3. Same sex love?

I understand women...But men...It's just not natural.

I see where you're coming from, you dirty old man.

4. The Jews?

The Jews?

The Jews.

Hitler was right about the Jews.

You don't mean that.

Can I go now?

You don't mean it.