I am currently halfway through Lars Von Trier's 'The Idiots', which shows nice young people acting as if they were mentally disabled in order to prove a point to the general public who are not as empathetic as they are.

The film has inspired me to develop a character for a short film of my own. He dribbles, gurns, grunts, throws tantrums and basically has no shame in the presence of his carer mother. But in the solitude of his own bedroom at night, we see his true self, a lovely, sophisticated, intelligent man who likes nothing better than to relax in front of a 'Little Britain' dvd with a glass or two of quality vino.

FIN.

Chris Evans seems to have had a new lease of life since he broke up with Billie Piper. He will be receiving part of our licence fee for a couple of Easter shows on Radio 2, the nation's favourite station for grown up pop music. These shows are possibly precursors to a new weekly music show.

Chris is 'looking forward to playing some great music on a bank holiday'.

I like this new ego-free Evans. It's now all about the music, as it was with John Peel. It sounds like he's finally grown up, and I for one am certainly looking forward to a show full of great music spun by the most gifted dj of his generation.

Whereas Frankie's 'Relax' has always seemed to me merely a sensible instruction on how not to tense oneself during unspeakable acts, hearing George Michael's 1987 hit 'I want your Sex' on Heart 106.2 today, I feel distinctly uncomfortable.

It's as if he's singing just to me.

And I want to run a mile.

So Chris Evans now finally realises that Billie Piper was too young for him.

When do you think he realised that he was too old for her?