A chav, as far as I can see, is a young, white British person who wants to be a cool black American. There is nothing wrong with that, or the fact that young white people don't look cool no matter how hard they try.
According to chavscum.com, chavs are 'Britain's peasant underclass that are taking over our towns and cities', who look 'like a bunch of fucking pikeys'.
'Pikey', like 'paki' is a quaint term used by the Great British inclusive working class to illustrate a human being who is not 'like us'.
But these chavscum guys have good taste. They don't like hip hop or R&B or cheesy dance music like the chavs do. Not 'misogynistic' hip hop or the 'flippant misandry' (not in my dictionary) of R&B or the 'moronic trance and garage beats' of dance music. The chavscum guys take their music seriously. None of this commercial, listenable, enjoyable stuff. No mention of ho's, bitches and scrubs here. No relationship rubbish, no laughter, no tears, no GIRLS! Please, no GIRLS!
The terrifying thing is, I've probably enjoyed the same music and films as the chavscum guys. Some white electronic dance music you can't dance to, some serious indie shit (music and films) and God knows what else. So I'm a little bit Donny, a little bit Marie, a little bit chav and a little bit chavscummer. Without the bad taste, the racism or the misogyny of course. I am superman!
And Julie Burchill is superwoman. She knows it all she really does, and Sky One last night allowed her to tell us all about chavs and how she's proud to be one. She was shown walking around a cheap market, dressed as a woman in her 40's, not as a chav. No chunky jewellery, no chav clothes or chav mates but she was still a chav. A middle aged chav.
As far as I could gather, in her terms (and nobody elses), a chav is a white celebrity with a working class background who is comfortable in their own skin (i.e. sexily confident and shaggable, just like herself).
David Beckham is, Victoria Beckham isn't. Well if that's the case, how come they've just had their third child? Maybe he puts a paper bag over her head, eh Julie?
Just what is it about Victoria Beckham that gets up people's noses? She's talentless? So are 90% of pop stars. She's skinny? So are 90% of female pop stars. She hasn't got a 'natural' (i.e friendly) smile? I think that's it! She hasn't got a friendly smile and nobody in their right mind would want to be friends with a woman who doesn't smile like she means it. Really means it.
I don't trust her.
According to chavscum.com, chavs are 'Britain's peasant underclass that are taking over our towns and cities', who look 'like a bunch of fucking pikeys'.
'Pikey', like 'paki' is a quaint term used by the Great British inclusive working class to illustrate a human being who is not 'like us'.
But these chavscum guys have good taste. They don't like hip hop or R&B or cheesy dance music like the chavs do. Not 'misogynistic' hip hop or the 'flippant misandry' (not in my dictionary) of R&B or the 'moronic trance and garage beats' of dance music. The chavscum guys take their music seriously. None of this commercial, listenable, enjoyable stuff. No mention of ho's, bitches and scrubs here. No relationship rubbish, no laughter, no tears, no GIRLS! Please, no GIRLS!
The terrifying thing is, I've probably enjoyed the same music and films as the chavscum guys. Some white electronic dance music you can't dance to, some serious indie shit (music and films) and God knows what else. So I'm a little bit Donny, a little bit Marie, a little bit chav and a little bit chavscummer. Without the bad taste, the racism or the misogyny of course. I am superman!
And Julie Burchill is superwoman. She knows it all she really does, and Sky One last night allowed her to tell us all about chavs and how she's proud to be one. She was shown walking around a cheap market, dressed as a woman in her 40's, not as a chav. No chunky jewellery, no chav clothes or chav mates but she was still a chav. A middle aged chav.
As far as I could gather, in her terms (and nobody elses), a chav is a white celebrity with a working class background who is comfortable in their own skin (i.e. sexily confident and shaggable, just like herself).
David Beckham is, Victoria Beckham isn't. Well if that's the case, how come they've just had their third child? Maybe he puts a paper bag over her head, eh Julie?
Just what is it about Victoria Beckham that gets up people's noses? She's talentless? So are 90% of pop stars. She's skinny? So are 90% of female pop stars. She hasn't got a 'natural' (i.e friendly) smile? I think that's it! She hasn't got a friendly smile and nobody in their right mind would want to be friends with a woman who doesn't smile like she means it. Really means it.
I don't trust her.
posted by Geoff at 1:50 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home